Archive for commuters

Commuters behavior when taking the MRT

Posted in Singapore, transportation with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 23, 2009 by Aloysious Wong

Sometimes I’m just glad that I do not have to take the MRT to travel to and fro my workplace and home even if it means having to wake up damn early in the morning just to be on time for work on certain days. I do not have to subject myself to the rush hour where Singaporeans and foreigners come together and rear the ugly side of humanity. I am no angel but I think I might be be given an associate membership into the hall of saints when compared to the kinds of people I see on the MRT.

I’ve always felt that the yellow markings seen in MRT stations are an embarrassment and an insult to our intelligence. That the authorities need to draw big bright yellow lines and arrows to teach us exactly where to stand and where to walk . But do the authorities know that commuters here don’t give a freaking damn about them. Your arrows don’t scare them!! We will stand exactly where we please, thank you very much. Isn’t it painfully obvious that the yellow lines and arrows in MRT stations do not work? People don’t even know how to use them. As far as I can see, there are only two things that the markings and arrows accomplish:

1) Make them look stupid for needing markings to tell them where to stand

2) Make them look stupid for appearing not to know how to use the markings.

But then again, maybe the commuters here are just plain stupid so I suggest that every commuter should attend a lesson on how to use the lines. Oh, and whenever I’m trying to get out of the train, I just wish I was a bowling ball.

I have always been amused by how well behaved the commuters are before the train arrives at the station, but as soon as the train appears in sight, all hell break loose.. people will start stepping into the “keep clear” area and will start to crowd around the edge of the platform (beyond the yellow line) and pack themselves like sardines.. Until recently, due to the many cases of people falling onto the tracks, platform screen doors have to be build.

It may not be the number one thing that I hate about taking the MRT but it certainly ranks WAY UP there. For those of you who frequently….. Hmmm….. wait…. let me rephrase that. For those of you who EVER taken an MRT before, there is a 99.99% probability that you will encounter the following scenario.

If you are IN the MRT cabin and when the train arrives at the station even before the doors open, you will start to see humans through the glass panels. And once the doors open, even before you can say “Excuse Me”, these humans will start to POUR IN faster than you can GO OUT.

These strange human beings can’t logically come to a conclusion that it is better to actually let the passengers move OUT of the train first so that that is space for people to GO IN. But these illogical strange human beings have very good skills too! You will be impress. They have super fast processing skills and fast reflexes. In the space of a couple of seconds, they can do the following:

1) Move into the train cabin at super speed

2) Scan for corner seats.

3) Conclude if the seat will be affected by the sun.

4) Check if the seat is dirty or too warm

5) Sit down

6) “CHOP” seats for their mother, father, brother, sister, friend, friend’s sister, friend’s brother, friend’s parents, friend’s sister’s    friend.

7) Turn on their “Eye-Filter” so that they cannot see all the old people and pregnant ladies even if they are standing right in front of them.

Gracious society”? Think again…

Anyway, the picture below is why I think commuters act this way.


After living in Singapore for over 20 years, I would like to give my 2 cents worth. I present to you Aloysious list of MRT Tips:

01) When SMRT says they are increasing the number of train trips, it doesn’t mean that you can wake up later. If you can’t board the train when you’re running late for work, you only have yourself to blame. Earth won’t stop revolving and time won’t stop for you just so you can get to work on time.

02) When you are waiting on the platform for the train to arrive, please refrain from looking at the screens telling you how long is the next train going to arrive if you have high blood pressure.

03) When on the escalator during rush hour, either keep left or you follow the rushing commuters on the right. Don’t stall the fast lane and tempt me to grab you and toss you over the side.

04) If you want to get into the train cabin and you do noT intend to let the passengers in the train cabin out first, you totally deserve to be whacked by a grouchy old man with an umbrella.

05) If you will not give up your seat to a pregnant lady or a senior citizen, please I’m BEGGING you, at least PRETEND that you are fast asleep. Stop looking at the lady’s stomach and mentally weighing it against your beer belly and deciding who has the heavier load.

06) The vertical poles in the train cabins are for passengers to hold onto with their hands to stabilize themselves. If you lean on them with your whole body, to get a firm stance, I might need to separate your left butt cheek from your right to secure a holding spot and I do not have that much Dettol to cleanse my hand with afterwards. So do use only your hands.

07) If you are blasting away your choice of music through your phone speakers, please make sure that your taste in music is at least accepted by 80% of the people who are within earshot. If you are not sure how you can figure that out, please purchase a device that had been invented in the 19th century called earphones.

08) The fare you pay for travelling on the MRT entailed you to a limited space. If you need space to hold a newspaper and to opened it fully in front of you during peak hours, do consider buying an EZ-Link card for the newspaper as well.

09) If you really need to fart (especially if your ass-hole is not equipped with silencer) or burp inside an MRT cabin, have the courtesy to say ‘excuse me’. If you think people will get angry and wallop you because of it, practice the habit of laughing like a hyena as soon as you fart. At least you can have a good laugh first before getting wallop by angry people.

10) Do not scold me if the train is packed and I am poking your butt from behind. The one who you should scold is the one who is poking my butt. Don’t ask me to push back as well because it will seem as though I am reciprocating.